Recently a buddy of mine - his name is Dave, which may or may not become apparent - began talking about rewatching the classic Planet of the Apes movies. Naturally I was interested, not only because I hadn't seen them all, but also because I can't turn down the opportunity for a movie marathon. Quite the revelation (that last one), I know. Anyway, that's how Dave's DVD Dungeon came to be, and no movie is safe.
Dave and I decided to kick things off with a double feature - not one Planet of the Apes movie, but two. Two movies from the same place, yet wildly different.
Even by today's standards Planet of the Apes is groundbreaking - somehow forward thinking and very much of its time, all at once - and like many groundbreaking movies it spawned a litany of sequels. Some better than others. Thankfully however, this doesn't take anything away from the genius of the original.
Hilariously it all begins with a decidedly 60's sci-fi/spaceship setting, and Charlton Heston's Taylor doing his take on the 'Captain's Log'. Not only is it a chance for our hero to get all philosophical about space travel and the passage of time, it allows him to update us - in the vaguest of terms - as to what he and his crew are doing in space. And if the idea of being stuck in a small spacecraft with three other people - who you don't necessarily get along with - on a trip so long that even if you make it home, everyone you know and love will be long dead, doesn't sound like a nightmare, crash-landing on a strange planet where humans are unevolved and enslaved just might. All of which does raise some interesting questions, like 'who the hell would volunteer for such a mission?' 'Why would you carry out a mission like this?' Cui bono? These types of questions continue to arise throughout the movie, as Taylor's new existence becomes ever more hellish.
The whole thing, unsurprisingly, is a bit weird. All of which is emphasised by some very dramatic acting. Although it's the next movie in which things start to get really weird! And the incredibly slow drip-feed of information only adds to the very real sense of disorientation. We're very quickly immersed in this new world, this nightmare. Held in a constant state of suspense, because where this is all going is such a mystery. Even with the title being this big hint as to what's going on, the movie is still able to keep you guessing. All the way from the crew's arrival on the planet, their march through the desert, and Taylor's constant bating of Landon (Robert Gunner) - who said the hero couldn't be a dick? Even those creepy scarecrows are meant to mystify us. And then we run into the human hunt.
This feels like the perfect time to mention John Chambers' incredible make-up effects. Without which Planet of the Apes wouldn't be the cultural phenomenon it is. Even today the apes look incredibly real! Your brain doesn't seem to register that you're looking at a human made up to look like an ape, you just see a talking Chimpanzee, Orangutan or Gorilla. Despite Chamber's genius, however, I don't envy the actors who had to wear all those prosthetics. I'm sure they were quite jealous of the actors playing humans - none of whom, I'm sure, needed a valium to get into costume. That said, did anyone else notice that Linda Harrison looked considerably less unevolved than her fellow humans? Funny that, huh?
In an interesting - and possibly poetic - role reversal the apes' treatment of humans is not only shocking, it's barbaric. They hunt us, enslave us, experiment on us. But the more you watch, the more you understand their position. Making the movie a clever and challenging look at our own inhumanity. We certainly can't judge them, not from our high and mighty position. That said, for obvious reasons I still see them - in the context of the movie - as the bad guys. But what do you do if you're Taylor? Why go on? What are you fighting for? These are the questions I wish they'd never tried to answer.
The reason I wish they'd never tried to answer that question is because that twist ending is so perfect. After following Taylor and his gang on their journey across this strange planet we come to Cornelius' dig site. The place where he has tried to investigate the history of humans and apes. Unfortunately it proves to be rather anticlimactic, especially after such a long wait, and a shootout. But as it turns out, the movie is simply setting you up for Taylor's final discovery. Even when you know it's coming, it's a brilliant ending. A perfect cliffhanger - superbly parodied by Mel Brooks in Spaceballs. Which brings us back to the question of what Taylor does now. Whatever it is, I like that we left him on that beach to figure it out.
Unfortunately however, they did try to answer that question. And given that we're into our second movie about talking apes, it's rather strange to think that only now are things starting to get really weird. Oddly enough, however... it's not the talking apes.
The first half of Beneath the Planet of the Apes is pretty much the same as the first movie, only it brings nothing new. It's essentially the same story. After Taylor disappears in rather odd circumstances, Nova (Linda Harrison) begins searching only to discover another crashed spacecraft and its sole surviving astronaut, Brent (James Franciscus). Turns out he's part of a rescue mission, sent to search for Taylor and his crew. But given Taylor's description of his mission at the beginning of the first movie, it seems strange that a rescue mission would even be considered. Anyway, we then see Brent have a similar but much shorter exposure to this new world order, in which apes are now the dominant species, including a visit to the home of Zira and Cornelius. Impressively, the make-up effects have greatly improved since the first movie, if only for the key players.
Needless to say, things don't really get interesting until the second half. Which also happens to be the point at which the whole thing starts to come off the rails. Although once you start watching this crazy trip, it's kind of hard to stop. But rather than being compelling in any way, it's merely a case of mild curiosity regarding where this is all going that keeps you watching. Taylor's disappearance is a little intriguing, even if it suggests that Charlton Heston had little interest in returning. Then there's the sets depicting the ruins of New York, which are quite impressive. It's just too bad we have to meet the ruined city's mutant inhabitants, who thanks to fallout have incredible powers and masks that would make the Mission: Impossible crew a tad jealous. Like I said before... this is the movie in which things get very weird.
All of which makes the ending a blessing. It's satisfying, but not in the way it should be. This is not what I had in mind for Taylor, after seeing him on that beach, struggling with the realisation that he is stranded on a future Earth. No, the blessing is simply seeing the movie come to an end, and the satisfaction comes from knowing that there is no coming back from this. It is over. Done. Finito. At least for this storyline, anyway. Obviously there is more to come, but after this things head off in a very different direction.
What are your thoughts on Planet of the Apes and Beneath the Planet of the Apes? Leave a comment below or find us on Facebook, Twitter (X) and Instagram. You can also email us at movie moustache@gmail.com.
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