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Dave's DVD Dungeon | Part 3


So we escaped from the Planet of the Apes, and now all the dogs and cats are dead.

Anyone remember that scene in Back to the Future Part 2 where Doc Brown talks about the timeline skewing into a tangent? Yeah, that sprung to mind a lot while watching Conquest of the Planet of the Apes. This is definitely the start of an alternate timeline, and the point where the franchise begins to take a swan dive. Believe me, those two things are not mutually exclusive. But 1991 looks very different in this timeline. I mean, some highly evolved chimpanzees show up in  a spacecraft NASA launched a while back and all of a sudden you've got "a galaxy far, far away" on Earth. Maybe the dogs and cats have distracted us so much over the centuries they've hindered our advancement. Without them we could enjoy a life that includes energy shield doors, fancy interrogation methods, extreme yet uniformed tailoring, and ape servants. Of course we'd also have to live in a Nazi-like police state, because the extinction of cats and dogs is exactly what the extreme right needs to take power. But just imagine the Death Star-esque control rooms we could have to run it all. Not to mention all the Imperial décor! Yes, it would appear our four-legged friends have a lot to answer for!


Ok, so it's possible Conquest is a little on the silly side. Maybe even a lot on the silly side, but it does have its good points. Roddy McDowall for one. This time he's playing the son of his original character, Cornelius. Hidden away with the circus before his parents' untimely demise. Remember that unnerving animatronic chimp at the end of Escape? Some dramatic advances in the make-up/prosthetics department mean  McDowall looks like a totally different ape. He does a great job of differentiating between the two characters, but you can still see traits that Caesar (as he is now known) shares with his parents, such as their intellect and sense of reason. I also enjoyed the relationship Caesar shares with Armando (Ricardo Montalbán). Despite only sharing a few scenes, the two actors work really well together, making the effect Armando has on Caesar's ark all the more genuine. In fact, it's hardly surprising when he goes from a happy, inquisitive, almost care-free chimpanzee to the leader of the ape resistance. And McDowall masterfully turns up the intensity.


A running theme with this franchise is the cruelty of man, and Conquest is no different. It's not exactly a commentary on slavery and the Civil Rights movement, but these are certainly points of reference for the plot. Thanks to some rather over-the-top acting we humans are made to look rather villainous, making the ape uprising not only inevitable, but welcomed. Unfortunately, much like it was for the Death Star, those fancy control rooms and extreme tailoring won't save us. Watching the apes fight for their freedom, you get a a real sense of the chaos that comes from such an event. Director J. Lee Thompson puts you right in the middle of it all, capturing the insanity and terror. There's even a little irony in seeing a Nazi-like state crumble under a blitzkrieg-style attack. Unsurprisingly, Conquest shares similarities with Rise of the Planet of the Apes, especially in the second half. The violence, the chaos, the dawn of a new era. And while Conquest did it very well, Rise did it better. It's more grounded, with perspective on both sides - or at least more on the human side - and there's a real sense of tragedy that comes with it.


Conquest can be more than a tad silly at times, with its intriguing vision of a 1991 without dogs and cats. But it's worth watching for the relationship between Caesar and Armando, and the ape uprising. However, I'm still not sure how the extinction of our favourite four-legged friends led to the birth of the Galactic Empire in a galaxy not so far, far away.

What did you think of Conquest of the Planet of the Apes? Leave a comment below or find us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. You can also email us at moviemoustache@gmail.com.

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