X-Men | Moustache ReWatch - Part 2

After a brief hiatus - mainly to go see Deadpool & Wolverine - I'm back to rewatching the X-Men movies. As with Part 1 it's a mixed bag of movies, with some legendary highs, some rather unfortunate lows, and very little in between. For every Logan there's an Apocalypse, I guess.

If you missed it, you can find Part 1 of my X-Men | Moustache ReWatch here.

So Logan survived his little adventure in Japan, only to come face to face with two old friends seeking his help with a coming threat. Cut to a few years later and the world has been ravaged by war, but I don't think that's Logan's fault. Days of Future Past is certainly one of the more ambitious X-Men movies, and it pays off. Less of an action movie and more of a thriller, this new adventure puts an interesting new spin on the complicated relationships between all of the mutants, but especially Charles and Erik - all four of them. It might be a little messy, but bringing the two casts together in one story works really well. The role reversals are a particular selling point - especially watching Logan try to mentor a young Charles Xavier, while helping with Erik, or at least trying to. The movie is strange in that respect, because despite being present throughout, this isn't Logan's story. He's the messenger, sure. The one sent back to be the guide. But he isn't the one changing the future, essentially. He's doing it by proxy. He's Doc Brown, not Marty McFly.

McAvoy's portrayal of a traumatised Professor is brilliant, while Fassbender takes Magneto's arrogance and self-righteousness to whole new levels, even going so far as shooting the messenger from the future, so to speak. I particularly like how this contrasts with Stewart and McKellen's characters, who have reconciled. Older Magneto's line about "years wasted fighting each other" being one of my favourites. But seeing Mystique take a central role is the real highlight. She's the linchpin of this whole thing. No longer simply executing the plans of other people, she's following her own path. Fighting for mutants her way, and Jennifer Lawrence plays her perfectly. Too bad that while the big battle is taking place in 1973, the modern day team feel a little side lined.

Days of Future Past might not be as action-packed as previous instalments, but that doesn't make it any less engrossing. Quite the opposite, in fact, because this is definitely one of the franchise's high points. Let's face it, the stakes have never been higher for the X-Men. But it's as much about the conflict between them as it is preventing Trask (Peter Dinklage) from unleashing his Sentinels on the world and changing the future. All of which Logan can't really solve with his claws - especially adamantium free. That doesn't mean however, that there isn't some good action to be found. Like Mystique's visit to Saigon. Which unfortunately happens to be Havok's one and only scene. There's also Quicksilver (Evan Peters)'s epic kitchen scene, in which he moves a few things around. And of course the intense finale that sees both timelines engaged in battle... and a great Nixon (Mark Camacho). Although if I were the president, I might be more annoyed with Magneto's attempt at landscape gardening/fortification of the White House grounds.

Then there's the Rogue Cut. I watched both versions of Days of Future Past for this. Anna Paquin's 'Rogue' gets a raw deal in the later movies, with only minor roles - especially in this theatrical cut. At least with the Rogue Cut she actually gets a role to play. For the most part this extended cut simply adds some interesting lines and details, improving on an already great movie. There are only two scenes that didn't really work for me, the first being Rogue's actual rescue: it was very by the numbers and predictable, not to mention the fact that both the jet and the mission would have to be very, very fast for the trip to even be worth it. The other scene is Mystique's little rendezvous with Beast (Nicholas Hoult) - who's sporting a much better look this time round. Apart from seeing her damage Cerebro, which she could have done anyway, the scene does nothing but rehash elements from First Class, bringing the movie to a complete standstill. On the bright side, it doesn't really matter which cut you watch because they're both awesome.

They say life is all about second chances, and in this case I'm rather pleased that it is. After seeing the character defiled in X-Men Origins: Wolverine, Ryan Reynolds finally gets the opportunity to show us the real Deadpool. Good thing someone leaked that test footage! Starting with those hilarious credits in which we get up close and personal with a freeze frame of Wade Wilson's unique style of chaos, it quickly becomes apparent that this is going to be a very different kind of X-Men movie. A love story, of all things. But one wrapped in delightfully blood-soaked action and extremely foul-mouthed humour. Everything Deadpool is known and loved for. I like the way the story jumps back and forth between DP's highway crash/assault introduction and the events that lead him up to this point, making for a nice balance of action, comedy and drama.

Sure some of the CGI isn't the greatest, but it gives the movie a quirky and unique look. It's thanks to this that some of the violence - especially in that opening crash - has a kind of cartoonish feel. You certainly get the sense that every penny of the $58 million budget was put to good use. And anyway, the CGI still looks a hell of a lot better than Logan's claws in X-Men Origins: Wolverine! That cartoonish look is also oddly appropriate if you think about it, given how Wade sees the world. Not only is he aware of his situation, i.e. he's a character in a movie, he's also completely nuts! To be fair, if I'd been through all that Wade has, any sense of sanity would be gone. That lack of sanity does fuel his hysterically fucked up relationship with Ajax (Ed Skrein), who would be a pretty generic villain without that playful banter. I'm not sure knowing he exists in movies helps much with his sanity either. But it does mean he gets to call cinematic universes, and those who make them, on their bullshit. Using so many hilariously quotable lines, and he's rarely wrong, too!

Now this is an interesting one, but not for the right reason. Apocalypse is meant to feel like this massive event; the world as we know it coming to an end. But thanks to Days of Future Past it's a non-starter, because we've already seen the future and it looks nothing like En Sabah Nur's vision. It doesn't help that despite Oscar Isaac's best efforts, Apocalypse (the mutant) really isn't all that interesting. A powerful mutant from the time of Ancient Egypt who thinks himself a god, and the movie makes no attempt to explore who he is and why. Instead, for two and a half hours you get to watch him posture a lot, gather four friends, and not much else. Even the final battle that pits him against generations of X-Men isn't all that exciting. It's mostly waiting for Jean (Sophie Turner) to get in the game.

Granted, there are some positives to Apocalypse. McAvoy's Charles Xavier with a mullet, for one. Quicksilver's X-Mansion run, for another. It's a good introduction to some of the younger characters like Nightcrawler (Kodi Smit-McPhee), Jean Grey, Scott Summers (Tye Sheridan), and Ororo Monroe (Alexandra Shipp). We also find Jennifer Lawrence's 'Mystique' in an interesting place after Days of Future Past. Still fighting for mutants, but her focus shifted back to rescuing mutants rather than going after those who target them. While Michael Fassbender turns in another mind-blowing performance as Magneto. His early scenes may be more than a little predictable, but they are still emotionally charged and absolutely crushing. 

Then, of course, there's Hugh Jackman's cameo as Wolverine. Unsurprisingly it's quite fun watching him massacre the staff of the Alkali Lake facility. But what is surprising is that Stryker might as well not be there, with Josh Helman getting to play a much less interesting version of the character than Brian Cox. Rose Byrne's return as CIA officer Moira MacTaggert is also wasted, despite being welcome. Apart from her early actions unleashing Apocalypse, she has pretty much nothing to do and is simply tagging along.

So Days of Future Past would have you believe the X-Men's attempts to change the past brought about a bright future. Turns out they traded one dark future for another. Merely delaying the inevitable, it would seem. Between the work of a twisted scientist and an ageing Charles Xavier's degenerative brain condition, mutant kind is slowly dying out. Even Logan is suffering, his healing factor diminishing, leaving him in almost constant pain, and his attempts to keep Charles safe have brought him nothing but loneliness and misery. It's actually quite sad to see him this way. Depressing, even. The same goes for Charles, too. Maybe we should reconsider Hank McCoy's theory about time being like a river. 

Anyway, we finally get to see Wolverine totally unleashed - or depending who you ask, riding another invincible mutant's coattails - and he's a bit past his best. Luckily for us that doesn't prevent him from going berserk in all the ways we've always wanted, it's just a little messier. Gone is the Wolverine who simply growls and postures, and in his place we find a meaner, more pissed off Logan who isn't afraid to unleash his rage on anyone who crosses him. Starting with that beautiful but blood-soaked opening in which he takes care of the gang-bangers trying to steal the wheels off of his limousine.

All throughout Logan is pretty full on, with very little in the way of respite. You really get a sense of the pressures Logan and the others are under. Yet there are still these small moments of really heartfelt peace. Even though they probably exist simply to remind us that tragedy is never far behind our plucky band of mutants. That dinner scene - seeing Charles, Logan and Laura enjoy a nice, home-cooked meal in a happy home - is a shining light in what is essentially a sea of misery. Some of the scenes that immediately follow the dinner are particularly heart-breaking as well. 

And yet, despite being on the more depressing side, this tragic little road trip movie could be the most compelling Fox's X-Men franchise has ever been. Not to mention its best entry. Hugh Jackman and Patrick Stewart deliver their best performances as Logan and Charles, and when you add the marvellous Stephen Merchant and the incredible Dafne Keen, things only get better. I love that the movie has Logan trapped in a troubled father/son-esque relationship with Charles, whilst also trying to wrangle the young and ferocious Laura, and this oddly hysterical 'old married couple' partnership with Merchant's 'Caliban'. Speaking of the sun-shy, mutant-tracking mutant, he has come a long way since Apocalypse! 

No offence to Tómas Lemarquis, but I think I prefer the Merchant Caliban. Even if he does spend a lot of his screen time suffering at the hands of Boyd Holbrook's 'Pierce', and his robotically enhanced 'Reavers'. Although Caliban does get one of the best moments of the movie: "Beware the light." While Holbrook gets to make Wolverine fan Pierce into a rather amusing villain, Richard E. Grant doesn't get the same opportunity with Pierce's boss, Dr. Rice. Although he does give the good doctor a disturbingly cold and clinical demeanour, which we see in his interactions with Logan as he describes his genocidal methods, and the way he talks science to X-24 (also Jackman) as he administers healing agent to the engineered mutant.

Refreshingly, it isn't forgotten that despite her abilities (and her anger issues) Laura is still a child. One minute she's decimating Reavers, then she's playing on the musical horse at the petrol station the next. I always feel sorry for the petrol station attendant who tries to stop a little kid shoplifting, only to nearly lose his face. Dafne Keen does a monumental job of playing both a feral child and this untamed miniature Wolverine. Seeing her stand up to Jackman is impressive, to say the least. The pair work amazingly well together, bringing their characters' journey to life in a very real way. Their relationship is surprisingly relatable at times. 

So much so that by the time that epic finale comes about you are - or at least I was - an emotional wreck. And what a finale it is! The highs of seeing Logan finally embracing his connection with Laura and the two of them fighting side by side, followed by the lows of seeing them torn apart, even if it does mean Logan finally gets the end he's been seeking. As horrible as it is, and it is a pretty horrible way to go, it's also kind of beautiful. Both sad and touching, all at once. It's the perfect way to bring this story to a close, even if it didn't quite end Hugh Jackman's tenure as planned.

Right, that's enough emotional stuff. Time for something considerably more nutty. Which can only mean the return of Wade Wilson. Deadpool 2 sees the merc with a mouth even more unhinged than he was the last time we saw him. In fact, of all three of his movies this could possibly be the most unhinged he has ever been. Basic Instinct and Winnie-the-Pooh will never be the same! Not that any of this should come as a surprise, given what Wade has lost. Oh the irony; the dying man who became unkillable because he has someone to live for, now has someone worth dying for. I have to admit, I've never really been happy with what they did to Vanessa (Morena Baccarin) here, because she was awesome in Deadpool and I was hoping she'd be getting more stuck in this time around. But losing her does at least present an interesting dilemma for DP.

For the most part Deadpool 2 is more of what we loved about the first movie in a much bigger, crazier, more action-packed package. They even got Celine Dion to sing a song for another series of looney, but James Bond inspired opening credits. While bringing some massive action set pieces - mixed with a little Deadpool flair, of course - the man that killed John Wick's dog, A.K.A. David Leitch, actually manages to maintain that perfect balance of action, comedy and drama that Tim Miller established with the first movie. Then the Super Duper Cut came along, adding more craziness and even more laughs into the mix, as well as sort of a promise that was thankfully and finally delivered upon in 2024. 

However, even with a much bigger budget, Leitch could still only recruit a couple of X-Men to help out... ha-ha. Sad to say that Negasonic Teenage Warhead (Brianna Hildebrand) and Yukio (Shioli Kutsuna) didn't get all that much to do either, which is a real shame. Could it have something to do with Hollywood's longest death scene? Maybe. But Leitch did bring Cable (Josh Brolin) into the fold, and he is the perfect foil to the whacky Wade. Brolin brings an extreme intensity to Cable, a man so focused he has a serious case of tunnel vision. Watching the two of them clash both as enemies and allies is, quite frankly, joyous. Especially when Domino is caught in the middle! That lucky - or should that be 'luck stealing'? - mutant is a menace to pretty much anyone around her, and Zazie Beetz plays her perfectly.

However, the thing that makes DP's second outing a little more interesting is that it's not so much about getting the bad guy as it is about saving the kid. Although Cable certainly makes a good play for the role of big bad. Julian Dennison is hilarious as the loveable but troubled, pain in the ass, that is 'Russell'. He wants so desperately to be accepted, to fit in, and he tries way to hard. Like way, way too hard. Just as many of us would. Yet he is what grounds this story, because we can all relate - well many of us can, I hope - to both him and the guy simply trying to help a kid. And Eddie Marsan bringing the creepy religious nut certainly helps with that. Him and Mr "secret sex lips" (Nikolai Witschl), "it is Glen, isn't it?"

Note to self: always sharpen the cream cheese spreader!

After the colour comes the bland. And following on from Deadpool 2, Dark Phoenix looks very bland. I remember thinking this was pretty good when I saw it in the cinema. Not great, and certainly not as good as previous instalments, but an ok watch. So given that I haven't watched it since then, I was curious to revisit it. This time around two things occurred to me... One: there's probably a very good reason why I haven't watched this since the cinema. And Two: the Dark Phoenix story never seems to work out well for Mystique! 

Sophie Turner turns in an excellent performance as Jean. She makes Jean’s struggles, and the changes her new power is causing within her feel very genuine. Other than that there's nothing really interesting about the movie. Apart from how badly they wasted such a great cast. There's nothing new for any of the mutants to do and the new alien baddies serve very little purpose. Even the shifting alliances within the mutant community fail to inject this rather dull closing chapter with any real excitement or tension. In fact, it doesn't really feel like there's a hell of a lot going on at all, apart from a whole lot of set up. Probably because two movies have been carved up, trimmed down and mushed into one… very badly. 

I do like the score, and the final scene between Erik and Charles. It brings some much needed and satisfying closure. Let’s face it, it’s the only satisfaction Dark Phoenix delivers, seeing these two old friends come full circle. Still, it’s a sorry way for the arc that began with First Class to end. 

The last instalment in this X-Men franchise is an interesting one to me. Doomed from the start, you might say. Delayed by everything from reshoots, to Disney's purchase of Fox, and Covid, it's a wonder it ever saw the light of day. But it did... eventually.

The New Mutants promised a very different kind of X-Men movie to what we've seen before, and to an extent it delivered. In a movie-verse as big as X-Men, this is a tiny, almost claustrophobic character-driven story, about a band of troubled mutants learning to control their powers. All of the performances are very good, and the characters intriguing. I particularly like Alice Braga's 'Dr. Reyes', the person responsible for taking care of the young troublemakers. The way Braga plays Reyes keeps you guessing as to her real intentions.

The problem is it takes too long to get where it's going - despite only being 94 minutes long - and when it does finally get there, it's more than a little underwhelming. The attempts to tie The New Mutants into the universe with loose links to Logan felt cheap, and the giant demon bear is a little on the nose, too! Especially when there's a more interesting villain with whom the kids could have a scrap. So you get to the end and you're left with this feeling of... 'oh, was that it?'

That said, it could have been fun to see more of these new mutants. The movie does leave things in an interesting place. I would have liked to see where they go from there. But I guess that was off the cards a long time before this movie hit cinemas.

So there we have it. As a franchise the X-Men movies are a decidedly mixed bag. Some great stories, some great performances, and some hilariously weird shit courtesy of Deadpool. While some of the movies are pretty awful, and the franchise definitely peters out towards the end, the good definitely outweighs the bad. Even the bad movies have their good points. And thanks to the merc with a mouth and his adamantium clawed friend, the franchise started by 20th Century Fox has gone out with a $1 Billion bang. 

Click here to read my review of Deadpool & Wolverine. 

What are your thoughts on the X-Men movies? Leave a comment below or find us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Threads. You can also email us at moviemoustache@gmail.com.