When jolly old Saint Nick, A.K.A. 'Red One' (J.K. Simmons) is kidnapped, the head of his security detail, Callum Drift (Dwayne Johnson) is forced to work with Jack O'Malley (Chris Evans) - a freelance hacker/tracker who claims he can find anyone, anywhere. But will the pair be able to get along in order to find Santa and save Christmas?
With Red One, Jake Kasdan attempts to do for Christmas what he did for Jumanji... and misses. Where Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle and Jumanji: The Next Level were light-hearted, silly, and featured The Rock doing something a little different, Red One takes itself way too seriously, is overly cheesy, and for a supposed Christmas movie it isn't all that festive. As for Johnson, well he's simply playing the type of character he usually plays; tough but straight. On the other hand, his co-star Chris Evans delivers a fine performance as the loveable rogue/Christmas sceptic, even though it feels like he's simply trying to escape his straight-laced Captain America image - which explains why he dropped out of Fly Me To The Moon to make this. But at least those two get something to do, unlike Lucy Liu, Bonnie Hunt, and Johnson's team of awesome-looking animal bodyguards, all of whom are mostly wasted. Even J.K. Simmons, who plays a pretty cool Santa, gets very little to do. Fair to say Johnson's performance behind the scenes generated more hype than anything else about Red One.
What's truly surprising however, is how heavy the movie goes on the Christmas stuff (acronyms and all), and somehow manages to feel decidedly un-Christmassy! How do you make a movie about Santa Claus feel un-Christmassy? I guess the problem there is Kasdan and co. are dealing with an audience raised on the MCU. Which is probably why this feels like Christmas brought to you by Stark Industries - although I'd argue Arthur Christmas did it better. And therein lies another of the movie's problems; it doesn't seem to know who its audience actually is. The story seems to be aimed at a much younger audience. You'd be forgiven for thinking this is the movie you watch with the kids this holiday season - and possibly many more to come. But a fair amount of bad language, as well as some of the humour and action, make that next to impossible. Trouble is; the older kids are likely to find it too childish.
In fairness, it's probably not the worst Christmas movie out there. The buddy comedy duo of Johnson and Evans is pretty amusing, and their escapades in toy stores across the world can be entertaining. It's certainly a strange place to watch a warrior gear up before a fight. Where else would Santa's bodyguard go for supplies? Wrapping paper factory? Red One does also benefit from some fun, sometimes Christmas themed action here and there - Chris Evans' entrance into the movie and the snowmen in Aruba being particular highlights. That said, it's Krampus who's responsible for the movie's real high point. Kristofer Hivju looks incredible as Santa's rather hairy adopted brother, and he fully commits to the role of goat-headed punisher of naughty listers. Watching him play a game of 'Krampusschlap' with Johnson's Callum Drift is pretty fun too. But even Hivju's larger-than-life performance isn't enough to put Red One high up on your Christmas movie watchlist, if at all.
Red One has it's moments, but despite going heavy on the Christmas stuff, feels more cheesy than festive. That and the fact it seems to be aimed at an audience that it would be considered unsuitable for, means it's unlikely to end up on many Christmas movie watchlists. And even if you do let your kids watch it, I doubt it will encourage them to stay off the naughty list.
4/10
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