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Hemet, or the Landlady Don't Drink Tea | Average Guy Movie Review


During an epidemic in which people high on bath salts are turning into zombie-like creatures, eating the legs off of any unsuspecting victim, the residents of one apartment complex face their own private hell. It's not safe outside, and it's not much better inside, thanks to the world's most tyrannical landlady. Liz Topham-Myrtle (Brian Patrick Butler) lords it over her tenants, and if any should step out of line she is quick to lash out with extreme punishment. But how long can her reign of terror go on before someone decides it might just be easier to get rid of her?



Have you ever watched a movie only to be left wondering what it is that you've just watched? That is the essence of Hemet, or the Landlady Don't Drink Tea. It is a gross and extreme horror comedy that seems to have something to say about our society. With memories of the pandemic, and lockdown still fairly fresh, there is something strangely familiar about this sordid escapade. You might even find yourself marvelling at the fact the kind of chaos depicted within this curious little indie flick - some of it anyway - wasn't more of a thing during Covid.



Brian Patrick Butler - wearing some clever makeup that puts him somewhere between convincing old lady and a Bo' Selecta caricature - easily steals the show as the crazy old biddy who can't help spreading her hatred and vitriol everywhere she goes. Her inability to keep her thoughts and opinions to herself feels surprisingly authentic. At times, even oddly relatable. You never know what's going to come out of her mouth next, only that it will be cruel. To be fair, it's not just the things she says that will surprise you. But as Liz attempts to maintain order with an increasingly deluded iron fist, alliances between the tenants begin to shift, and curious factions begin to emerge. 



These powder keg-like explosions come about a little quickly, I will admit. But it doesn't matter if it's a virus, or leg-eating, bath salt-addicted zombies, the joys of lockdown don't change. We all remember being cooped up for long periods of time, and the strange things that did to people. Something we see reflected in every one of the solid performances. Each tenant has that look of being sick and tired with their current existence, and of being stuck. But it's how they react to both the epidemic and Liz's draconian ways that make things interesting. 



Things escalate fast in Hemet, California, it seems. With tenants turning to murder at the drop of a hat. I guess when you find a place to live that you like, you'll do whatever it takes to stay there. The thing is Hemet, or the Landlady Don't Drink Tea isn't just a very gory zombie/slasher horror. There is a darkly comedic perspective on our world buried within it. And it's not just about the pandemic, and how it was handled. It is about the very systems that operate to run daily life on this planet, and the influence that a certain few have over them. 



Unfortunately, there are times when that commentary can feel lost behind the movie's own gross nature. Not to mention Liz's big personality (and Butler's scene-stealing performance). The gore effects are impressive, so much so that there are times when even Leatherface would sit up and pay attention. Or should that be; 'sit down'? Anyway, I guess if you're going to let your message take a back seat, it should definitely be because of a character like Liz, and her deranged antics.



An amusing gross-out horror comedy, one with a message about the world we live in. Although there are times when that message is lost behind waves of chaotic insanity and gore.

6/10


Hemet, or the Landlady Don't Drink Tea is available to view on Tubi, Plex, Hoopla and Amazon Prime Video.


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