When his family head off on a Christmas holiday to Japan, young Max Mercer (Archie Yates) is left home alone. It's every kid's dream; the house to yourself, no parents telling you what to do - and more importantly, what not to do. But when a couple of burglars come a knocking (Rob Delaney and Ellie Kemper), Max takes it upon himself to defend the family home. All the while, Max's mother Carol (Aisling Bea) fights to get home to her son.
That's right, Home Alone; the classic movie enjoyed by millions every Christmas for the last 30 years, has another unwanted sequel - one the filmmakers are desperate for us to know exists in the same universe as the original. Buzz McCallister (Devin Ratray) is back to rather pointlessly ram home that point. Home Sweet Home Alone is yet another take on the child left behind scenario, in which said child must defend their home from some unwanted guests. Except this time it's more about the burglars than the child. In the original, Kevin McCallister had to learn to survive on his own before taking on the "Wet Bandits". Along the way he had some fun, watched a couple of R rated movies and even found time to learn a few lessons about life and family. But here Max Mercer takes a backseat to amateur burglars Pam and Jeff McKenzie (Kemper & Delaney), and their tale of financial woes. Sure we get a few clips of him enjoying his new-found freedom, with some rather unadvised in-house antics. I never knew ironing board surfing was a thing! But before you know it Max is missing his family and showing no sign of learning anything at all.
It's as if director Dan Mazer and his crew knew they were making something awful, so they decided to see how bad they could actually make it. Which would explain why their attempts to compete with the original feel so half-hearted. Most of the characters are annoying, sometimes even enraging. The same goes for the performances, many of which actually get worse as the movie goes on. Chris Parnell - the voice of Cyril Figgis in Archer - is in this movie and is given pretty much nothing to do! They've tweaked the original soundtrack, so that just as you're beginning to get drawn in by that familiar tune, it changes track and just sounds wrong. Even their attempt to sound self-deprecating - a character makes a comment about remakes not being as good as the originals whilst watching a sci-fi remake of a certain gangster movie that was once used to scare the hell out of a pizza delivery guy - comes across as a jab at this movie's critics (or anyone who watches it).
Right from the off there's a sense that this is all building to some sort of sickly sweet ending. Which is at odds with the decidedly more violent traps that await the McKenzies when they enter Max's house. Kevin McCallister's traps would have caused severe pain, there's no denying that, but there was also a sense of humour to them. The same cannot be said here. Firing a pool ball at a guy's head is definitely more violent than funny, and feels like nothing more than a blatant attempt to out do what has been done before. Go big or go home, I guess. Which brings us to the burglars themselves. Harry and Marv were career criminals, and not very nice ones either. So it was fun seeing them get their arses handed to them by a kid - not to mention hilarious. But the McKenzies are so inept they border on pathetic, which does take the fun out of seeing them suffer at the hands of a ten year old. In fact, you begin to question why they don't walk away. Or at least try a different approach. It's not something you'd expect from a director who frequently collaborates with Sacha Baron Cohen. Even the loveable Rob Delaney can't do anything to save this.
But the real problem with this movie is that it's not really all that festive. Home Alone is synonymous with Christmas. Mere mention of its name can evoke warm feelings, and thoughts of presents, trees, and cheese pizza (you know what I mean). Yet Home Sweet Home Alone doesn't really feel Christmassy at all. Simply setting it at Christmas, and in a place covered in snow, does not a Christmas movie make. A fact that is reflected in Aisling Bea's attempts to get home to her son. I say "attempts" because it's far from a struggle. She simply goes to the airport and gets on the first available flight. If anything, the flight out actually depicted the joys of Christmas travel rather accurately. Whereas her return does not, there's nothing about it that suggests it's Christmas at all. Yes she is on tenterhooks, but that's to be expected in her situation. And without the battles through holiday crowds, delays and bad weather, Bea isn't given anything really memorable to do, and there's no real payoff to be found at the end. All of which makes for a joyless, and not at all festive affair.
Yet another disappointing sequel to a Christmas classic. If you're looking for a festive family movie this holiday season, avoid this and watch Home Alone instead.
0.5/10
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