Do You Like Scary Movie?

Do you like Scary Movie? Well whether you do or not, it has returned! Much like that body you and your friends once tried to dispose of, or the one that crawled out of your TV. And now it's coming home! The movie, that is. Which is why I decided to take a look back at this up until now almost forgotten franchise. To see - or at least remind myself - what all the fuss was about, and more importantly, why it wore out its welcome.

Many, many years have passed since I watched the original Scary Movie, and in that time I've forgotten pretty much everything about this horror parody. Apart from a Doofy highlight reel, of course. On the face of it, Scary Movie is an amusing skewering of Scream and I Know What You Did Last Summer. The two movies are squished together with a healthy dose of slapstick to form a fairly coherent teen slasher flick. One with comical jabs at the likes of The Usual Suspects, Final Destination, American Pie, and a certain Budweiser advert thrown into the mix. 

None of it is particularly clever - Shrek certainly did a better job of parodying The Matrix - and it's more than a little dated. A major peril of the parody movie genre, no doubt. However, parts of Scary Movie have not aged well at all. Certain scenes, admittedly viewed through a modern lens, can be a tad uncomfortable to watch. Making it more than a little ironic that Harvey Weinstein was a producer on the film.

The thing is, despite all the societal changes that we have experienced in the last 26 years, as well as my own ageing perspective - notice I said nothing of maturity - Scary Movie is still funny. Even the ever quotable Special Officer Doofy is still funny, despite the fact he possibly shouldn't be. I also enjoy the killer's constant bewilderment at some of the behaviour displayed by their victims. While Buffy (Shannon Elizabeth)'s death scene (spoiler alert) is, to this day, a pretty good roasting of the slasher/horror genre - as well as an incel's worst nightmare.

Given the overwhelming success of the first movie - we all remember the tsunami of parody movies that Scary Movie triggered - it's hardly surprising that the producers wanted another. Unfortunately, and as is often the case with success, the dollar signs got in the way of the common sense. Scary Movie 2 passed me by back when it hit cinemas, and I'm glad it did, because it is surprisingly unfunny. Clearly, Father McFeely (James Woods)'s blessing of Hell House didn't extend to the rest of the movie.

I appreciate that the Wayans were given a ridiculously short amount of time to make this sequel, but the story is weak and the jokes don't land. Some of them are just offensive. Ok, the Exorcist parody opening is pretty amusing, and more than a little disgusting. As is the discovery of ballots from the 2000 presidential election in the furnace - amusing, that is. But mostly it falls flat, including the jokes they recycled from the first movie. It is so bad, in fact, that even Tim Curry can't save it.

After a typically Hollywood regime change - kind of a dick move on the part of the studio - comes Scary Movie 3. Which, rather hilariously, does a better job with the source material than those that made said source material. Who would have thought it possible to make a better movie out of Signs? Well somehow the new crew behind Scary Movie managed it... by combining it with an amalgamation of 8 Mile and The Ring... as well as a dash of The Matrix Reloaded... and lampooning the lot.

Charlie Sheen, Leslie Nielsen and Anthony Anderson are welcome additions to the cast. Well they join franchise stalwarts Anna Farris and Regina Hall, anyway. While director David Zucker (of Airplane! and The Naked Gun fame) returns the franchise to its slapstick roots. In other words, he actually made a funny movie. It's all very immature, and more than a little ridiculous. Which is exactly what you want from a slapstick comedy. A grand mockery of pop culture, current trends and aliens with a plethora of dick and fart jokes. I've also never seen anyone make ready a shovel in such an amusing way. That said, much like its predecessors, some of this highbrow comedy hasn't aged well - either that or it wasn't funny to begin with. But Drew Mikuska is hilariously creepy as Cody, and it's surprisingly funny when he's hit by a car.

However, as much as it is fun watching aliens, presidents, rappers, teachers, farmers and even children fall foul of a video tape and a well, I feel a line must be drawn with Scary Movie 3. A call-back to Airplane!, I would be ok with - given the obvious connections between the two movies - but to rip off one of its most famous and celebrated lines borders on sacrilege. It's not like it's there as a tribute, or even through some stroke of comedy genius. No, it's simply because they've got Leslie Nielsen and they can. But on the bright side, watching Cody get hit by a car is still funny.

After Scary Movie 3 came out of the gate swinging, Scary Movie 4 seems to be trying too hard. Trying too hard to out do its predecessor, to be contemporary, and at times to even be funny. The movies that Zucker and his crew have decided to lampoon, they appear to have been chosen more for recency rather than compatibility. They've done a good job of recreating scenes from movies like War of the Worlds and Saw, but the plot - if that's the right word - feels forced, even for a parody movie.

The same goes for a lot of the returning characters. Charlie Sheen and Simon Rex might as well not be in the movie. Leslie Nielsen pops up occasionally, but is only ever allowed to bumble around like Frank Drebin. While Anthony Anderson and Kevin Hart's sole job is to remind us that they were in the last movie, by way of a very forced skit. Which leaves Cindy, Brenda, and newcomer Tom (Craig Bierko) to save the world from... whatever is going on.

All of which could probably be forgiven, if the movie was actually funny. Sure, it gets a snigger here and there - mostly thanks to Tom's incredibly poor parenting - but the majority of the humour feels stale, or simply way too gross. Like a little jab at Mike Tyson, which goes on way too long. Or Chris Elliott's second appearance in a Scary Movie. Not even a blind Carmen Electra clocking Bill Pullman - oh yeah, he's in this one, as is James Earl Jones - in the balls can help. And as for that ending, well that's just an uncomfortable reminder of something we'd all rather forget.

Well now I understand why they stopped making these movies! Having never seen Scary Movie 5 before, I just waited almost 90 minutes for something funny to happen. But nothing. It's a seemingly endless string of skits that make little sense, especially when put together, and fail to garner anything even resembling a laugh. How many times are we going to flog the same Evil Dead curse reading joke? And since when did mentioning a title count as a movie reference? 

Previous instalments have, for the most part, done a reasonable job of stringing the multiple threads of parody into a semi-coherent narrative. Whereas this directionless and overfilled melting pot of references and jokes does none of that. Subplots involving Dan (Simon Rex) and Jody (Ashley French)'s jobs do nothing to help matters. They simply give the writers an easy shot at more movies. And the result is a clunky mess. One that peaks with the outtakes. At least they were amusing. 

So this behemoth, this catalyst for a wave of parody movies, definitely peaked with movie number 3. After which it limped into mediocrity. And that's why it has been thirteen years since a new Scary Movie appeared on our screens. Has it been long enough? Probably not. But it doesn't matter. Scary Movie (2026) is almost home. Which begs the question question; do you like Scary Movie?

What are your thoughts on the Scary Movie franchise? Leave a comment below or find us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Threads. You can also email us at moviemoustache@gmail.com.